Presidents Day Weekend Family Fun

For President's day Neal and I took a four day weekend, we loaded up the car and quads and headed to Yuma to spend the weekend with my parents. We figured we should get in one more visit before the move up north. The biggest draw back of moving to UT is that we will be doubling the distance to my parents.  We love visiting with them.  We always have a great time.  We are going to try to take the trip again for Thanksgiving but that will depend on our new jobs.
I took a bunch of pictures while there...most of them of my dogs.  They are so cute I couldn't help it.

KC & JJ in the car on the way down.

Lillee looking all sweet and innocent.

Neal looking bummed because it was raining Saturday morning and he wanted to ride.

Dad was pushing the water away from the house.  They have one trouble spot.  Good thing it doesn't rain a lot in Yuma.

JJ looking all handsome.

KC was being clingy, but I love him so much it didn't matter.

Lillee and JJ didn't like being on the other side of the gate.

Lillee and KC looking out of the yard, waiting for someone to bark at.

My Dad and Me.

The rain did go away.  The weather was not super warm but we did have some sunshine to go riding in.

Neal and Dad attempt to pull the some tree stumps out.  Dad is going to go back with his chainsaw for some firewood.

This is my Mom...kinda hard to tell under her bandanna.  The bandanna is great for blocking cold wind and dust.

We took the kids on real rides for the first time ever.  I have giving them rides up and down the street before, but this time we took them over rocks and dirt.  They all seemed to really like it.  For those of you worried about us running over our dogs, don't.  They were securely fastened to us, they couldn't fall off.

KC and Lillee rode with me.

JJ rode with Neal.

We are an ATV'n family.

Papa and JJ sharing a pillow, too cute!

Nascar Driver

On January 30th Neal and I went to the Las Vegas Motor Speedway to support childrens charities.  For $30 we got to take our car onto the track and drive three laps.  The speed max was 75mph. We were not allowed to pass the car infront of us, no matter how slow they might be going.  It was a great experience, to be able to see what the driver see.  Hope you enjoy all the pics.

Headed into the track to wait for the event to begin.  We arrived 1.5 hours early to get in line.  We were in the first group to go on the track.

Driving through the tunnel, under the track.

The early birds.  We were about 10 or twelve cars back.

See the cars behind ours?  The line was so long by the time it started that the

went all the way down and then back.  I'm glad we got there early.

Neal the "nascar driver"

We got to go "behind the scences"  Sooooo cool!

All qued up and ready to get on the track.

He looks sooo happy!

Headed back down pit row...toward the winners circle

On the way out. This is not an experience we will soon forget.

I Love Saturdays

The last two Saturdays have been date days for me and Neal.  That's right not just date night, but a whole day.  There are some benefits of having dogs as children, especially if you have a dog door.  Okay so I have to admit some of our Saturdays have been running errands but the point is we were together. 
Two weeks ago we went to Friday's for lunch.  It was pretty yummy.  I got my usual, turkey burger with salad.  Sometimes I get fries.  Neal got....steak!  Big surprise there, haha.  I could order from him, he never deviates.  That night we went to our dear friends home, Kim and Stacy, for a mystery dinner.  The other two couples we didn't know but we had a great time.  I totally guessed wrong, but I couldn't believe that Kim was the murderer.
Last Saturday Neal & I celebrated Valentines day. Neal's schedule made it impossible to celebrate on Monday, but that is okay.  Neal bought me a new pair of Oakley sunglasses.  Thanks babe, love them.  I have been wearing Neal's hammy-downs for years.  It is nice to have my own special pair.  We went to RC Willey and dreamed about the couch we want to one day buy for the family room.  Needless to say we have expensive taste and we will be saving for a while.  No laughing at the lawn chairs that will be in the family room until we raise the money.  Okay you can laugh....in your head.  We ended the date with dinner at Red Robin.  I was craving a salad I had there over winter break.  I stole some of Neal's fries because you can't go to Red Robin and not eat some bottomless fries.
Sunday we were invited to another great friends house, Erin & Shawn, for dinner.  Kim and Stacy were there also.  I feel very blessed to have such great friends and to get to hang with them two weeks in a row!  I'm super lucky!

Numb

In my effort to protect myself from getting overwhelmed by stress I avoid it. I dont think about what is going on because I dont think stressing and dweling does any good. Basically I go numb so I dont have to feel anything stressful. Unfortunatley, the side effect of going numb to avoid stress means I don't feel anything. I'm not just numb to bad feelings I'm also numb to joy.
I've just been going through the motions for the last couple of months. Sure I have had some great moments & I still get annoyed by things at work. But I can feel something missing. I'm affraid that if I feel something, really feel it, I will open the flood gates to everything. I cant handle everything right now. But is the trade off of not feeling anything bad worth not feeling anything at all? Without pain you cant feel joy. It really sucks that that statement is true!

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Hoping dreams don't come true

I had a very weird sciefy like dream last night. In the middle of it something woke me up. So in my half awake half asleep state I laid there and wondered what it meant. Thinking about also about how Joseph interpreted the Pharaohs dreams and how some dreams are messages not just dreams. So in thinking about my dream I came to the conclusion that all things are connected and pre-ordained in a way. There was one part of my dream where the man put his hands together and kinda made them beat like a heart. He was reminding me that we had been together before that our hearts beat together before we had bodies. I believe the dark haired man represented Neal. FYI I don't dream in detail just kinda in thought. I never really see anybodies face clearly I just know who they are. Well as I continue to lay there thinking about my dream and how it is connected somehow I connect that to losing Neal. (Neal lost his dad when he was 13 so he is kinda obsessed with death, in a way. He always wants to be prepared for it. Like with life insurance and a plan. So after all this time living with Neal's obsession I too at times think about what I would do if I lost Neal. It is always in a very unemotional way. We even joke that I would spread Neal's ashes in Irland, because the only way I will ever be able to afford to go there is with Neal's life insurance.) So since I made the connection I kinda go into my imaginings of what I would do. However, this time there was nothing unemotional about. I started pleading with the Lord not to take him from me. He is my help mate and I need him. Obviously the tears were flowing as they are now. The feeling was too real. I have spent 1/3 of my life with Neal. All of my adult life with him. The dreams and plans I have are our dreams and plans. They would mean nothing without him. I cannot imagine my life without him. I don't want to imagine my life without him.
I'm really hoping this was just some bizzar dream that means nothing. That I have this feeling to make me grateful. To remind me to cherish him and the time we have together. I really hope it is just a reminder of what is important and not something to prepare me. I can think of two times in my life when I knew ahead of time that something was way off. The first time I went to gynecologist for my issues I remember crying and thinking he is going to tell me I'm not going to be able to have kids. Well he didn't tell me that, but I can't have kids. I remember how at 18 years old how real that felt. How heart breaking that realization was. At 32 that realization is no less heart breaking. I was given the knowledge before I was even married. I tried to ignore it and pretend it was just my fear, but it wasn't. The other time had to do with a 19 year old girl losing her first love. I bawled from just the feeling that something was wrong. I knew before he even told me that it was over. Two times I have been prepared before hand. It has probably been more then two times because I believe in the tender mercies of the Lord, but I'm not always as observant as I should be. Please don't let this be one of those times! PLEASE
I'm sorry for posting something so gloom and doom but I had to get it out of my head and I thought writing it down might help.

Frustrated, Stressed and Worried

Today I received some very upsetting news. It has increased my stress level exponentially.
Last week I checked on my licencing status and saw that the state had put down that I failed my elementary ed test. Knowing I had passed all my test I called them to let them know that there was an error. Well today they called me back. My score was 149, which is passing in NV. However, to pass in UT you have to have a score of at least 150. One sticking point!!!! So now I have to take the test again. I have to pay the outrageous amount and sit through a two hour test to prove that I can teach. So I guess my 6 years of teaching experience means nothing compared to that one point! Can you tell I'm frustrated? I asked if they put provisions on their licenses and they said no. They are making NV look better with every question. When I got my NV licence they gave me three years to pass the tests. Oh well, can't change that.
So while looking around online I realize that maybe I also have to take the counseling test. I didn't have to take the test for NV because I had previous teaching experience. So I called to clarify and got someones voicemail, again, so I left a message proving how much I don't know. Or maybe proving how inadequate the information online is. I'm still waiting for a call back but have registered for the test in the mean time. Hopefully I can cancel the test and get some money back. The two test cost me $220. Oh and if I want to be ebook study guides it is going to cost me $24 each! Can anyone say rip off?
I totally thought that getting my license was going to be a breeze. I thought the hard part was going to be finding a job. I'm worried about finding a job. Seriously worried. I have to have a job. I have a husband and four kids (my 3 dogs and my mother-in-law) depending on me. (BTW Neal was the first one to say his mother was like having a child.) I'm hoping to get lots of Karma points by taking my mother-in-law in that will be used to help me get a good job. I'm definitely going to be doing some serious groveling praying over the next couple of months.

I'm back, for now

I realize that I haven't blogged for over a year, but I can not change the past. This last year has been overwhelming so blogging hasn't been at the top of my list of priorities. It still isn't, but I will try to do better. I have been reading my dear friends blogs. I enjoy hearing about your life. I hope that you too enjoyed it when I was blogging and will try to keep that in mind when it has gone too longs since last posting.
I'm still working at the same school, and I still don't like it. The silver lining is that as of this Friday we are officially half way through the school year. The second half of the year seems to go faster then the first despite the lack of breaks or maybe because of it. Spring break is super late this year. I hope I can make it.
June holds greatness for me. I am finally getting my wish to move back home. By the time we move I will have been living in the desert for nearly 13 years. My experiences have made me who I am, so I wouldn't trade them, but I am very happy to be going home. The hubby is not happy about moving but is doing it for me.
Speaking of moving we are going to be needing jobs. I'm a bit nervous about finding work. If anyone knows anyone who works in the SL school district that can recommend me or even give me some insider tips please let me know. Oh I will also be applying for the Jordan district. I taught 8th grade math for 6 years and I'm in my 3rd year as a high school counselor. My teaching licence allows me to teach K-8 and my counseling is K-12. I don't do elementary school! Oh and the Hubby is a truck driver so if you have any connections there we would really appreciate it. He doesn't do Pick up and delivery. It's not what you know it's who you know. Thanks in advance for any help you can give.
Well that is about it for now. I'll try to post again soon. When the mood strikes.